Reader Question:

Me: 46 yrs old, African-American male, specialist career, home owner, beautiful, 20-year-old boy. We date beyond my personal race. I’m in great form.

It appears as much as women wish to have a committed relationship, they don’t really wish to commit to myself. I do have a « list » of desirable attributes — attractive, able to care for the woman finances, a social or nondrinker and a person who is actually ready and able to travel and carry out acts.

Just why is it hard for females to commit once I provide external signs and symptoms of willing to maintain a committed commitment?

-Mark (Ca)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Response:

Dear Mark,

Yes, a lot of women are acting like guys (or the way they THINK men behave) and are generally avoiding devotion. Having said that, i am going to let you know you can still find far more women who want a secure accessory than perhaps not.

I am wanting to know precisely why you may appear to be interested in ladies who avoid an excellent bond. Could this end up being your choice in targets?

My suggestion will be to speak to women whom you may well not initially be attracted to and see if you warm up to them. Often our failure to acquire a safe union is related to all of our anxieties of abandonment.

This basically means, we decided associates whom are unable to get close to protect united states from getting « dangerously » close and risk abandonment.

Try dating the kind of individual you’ve never, actually ever outdated before. Go-slow. And look closely at your feelings in the process.

Do you ever come to be easily jealous, need control her time or need close the deal too quickly? The secret is always to consist of your self and quell a concerns.

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